Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
