don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
