I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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