When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He shit in the fireplace
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
