then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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