my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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