I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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