Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
