but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
