dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
