every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
