Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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