im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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