Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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