im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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