But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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