Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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