Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's shark week go big or go home
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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