I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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