I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
