I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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