He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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