I'll bet she douches with gravy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize