i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
