please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
