well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
