Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
