guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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