dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
