just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
