i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
