Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
