A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
