is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i came on her dog
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize