You just made me feel so damn special
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
