My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
