why didn't you poke me back
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I am naked and annoyed.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
