Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
