I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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