Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
