im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
