And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
