I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
