ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
