omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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