he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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