i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
