Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
