dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Randomize
