Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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