I just cut my nipple shaving
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
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