But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
