I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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