ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
