Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
