How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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