It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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