he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
