The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
