I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
