i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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