I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I can tuck mytits in my pants
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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