she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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