I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
